Sunday, January 23, 2011

Great Hera! This Is Going to Suck So Bad!

Ugh, I hardly know where to begin with this bit of news in the ongoing saga of Hollywood trying to bring Wonder Woman to the big/small screen.  NBC has picked a Wonder Woman TV pilot, written by David E. Kelley, the man behind such crap, I mean shows as Boston Legal, The Practice, Girls Club and (shudder) Ally McBeal:

“The project is described as a reinvention of the iconic D.C. comic in which Wonder Woman — aka Diana Prince — is a vigilante crime fighter in L.A. but also a successful corporate executive and a modern woman trying to balance all of the elements of her extraordinary life. "I had a lot of fun writing it," Kelley said of the script at TCA last week when the project had just been put on hold. "It's a huge project, and it was probably a bit too much to ask anyone to try to chew on it for next season. But I'm confident it will still happen. It's a very complicated piece, which is the most fun thing about it."
Via io9
Oh Yes They Did!
How can I put my feelings about this into words?  Hmmm, How about... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT?!?!   Successful corporate executive?  Balanced lifestyles?  Modern woman?  Vigilante? Except for the part about being a vigilante, that description could easily be mistaken for a pitch for a yogurt commercial!  Why not throw in “single mother” while you are at it?  Perhaps that bit of shark jumping can be saved for later if the pilot gets picked up.

I would assume that this stupidity is due to budget restrictions.  Princess Diana (and I’ll refer to her as such, because the character hasn’t regularly maintained a secret identity for the last 20 years or so) and doesn’t fight crime in the regular sense of the word. She’s been blessed by her Gods and although she’s not as omnipotent as Superman, she is just a few rungs below him.  She fights epic quests set to her by her gods, alien invasions, domestic & international terrorism and just for fun, breaking the necks of crazed billionaires.  
Oh Snap!
 In her free time she works as a diplomat and, as if that wasn’t enough, she’s still royalty and has to deal with conflicts that affect her people and country.  She doesn’t have time for muggers but I suppose NBC doesn’t have the cash flow for her regular nemesis, Ares the God of War.

What’s even more irritating is Kelley trying to turn her into Batman/Bruce Wayne in a skirt.  Their ideologies are so far removed that in the DC universe, they don‘t actually get along:  
Looks Like She Doesn't Like Crazed Billionaires Very Much!
There’s already a Batgirl and a Batwoman so maybe the time and resources could have been spent on bringing either one of them to the small screen since it looks like a better fit.  Or better yet, just create something new instead of reinventing an old one.  Yes, The Cape sucks, but it's no worse than what Princess Diana is currently going through another shitty reinventiion in her monthly comic book.
Costume Sucks, Artwork, AWESOME!
 I'm pretty sure that this costume and reinvention won't last long either but until then, why won't Hollywood just give us what we want?



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